You know that thing neighborhood stray cats do, where they wait for you to get out of your car and go inside so they can keep warm underneath?

God damn spiders do that too. Except it’s your pants. Got a righteous bite on my right leg decided to shake pants out today and a big Mama plopped the hell onto the floor, and I’m not going to be the same. (HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN THERE)