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While the bandwagon fans and the simpletons of the world got suckered into the so called “beautiful” waterfront or the packed lively crowds of Pioneer Square, true World Cup purists take in each contest at a hidden gem: the JC Penny watch party. Nestled in between men’s sportswear and the shelves with appliances you only see in skymall catalogs, JC Penny has arranged an intimate viewing location for you and 6 of your friends to watch the game in the best HD 2014’s television manufacturers had to offer. Cheer on your favorite team AND use the downtime of those hydration breaks to peruse a clearance rack featuring Seahawks jerseys of players who left the team in the nineties in sizes including XS and XXXXL. There are no immediate food and drink options available but if you smuggle in a 40 in a brown paper bag, you won’t be the first. And unlike the crowded restroom lines you have to face in Pacific Place or the Armory, the JC Penny pisser has no line and, regrettably, no soap. And I’m pretty sure there was a dead body in the locked stall. See you all at the game! submitted by /u/aerorail55 |
