WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!! 💙💚🔥🏈 THE DEFENDING SUPER BOWL CHAMPION SEAHAWKS ARE BACK, THE PATRIOTS HAVE CRAWLED INTO LUMEN FIELD FOR A REMATCH OF THEIR FEBRUARY PUBLIC EXECUTION, THE CHAMPIONSHIP BANNER IS GOING UP, AND IT’S FUCKING GAMEDAY!!!!!

NEW ENGLAND GETS TO WALK INTO THE BUILDING, LOOK UP AT THAT SUPER BOWL LX BANNER, AND RELIVE 29-13 LIKE A GUY RETURNING TO THE APPLEBEE’S WHERE HIS WIFE LEFT HIM FOR THE WAITER!!!!! 😭💀
DRAKE MAYE GOT SACKED SIX TIMES IN FEBRUARY!!!!! THE PASS RUSH BETTER COME OFF THE EDGE TONIGHT LIKE SIX VENDING MACHINES GETTING LAUNCHED OUT OF A FUCKING CARGO PLANE!!!!! 💥✈️
JSN!!!!! SPOON!!!!! A.J. BROWN!!!!! JADARIAN PRICE!!!!! ALL-COLLEGE NAVY!!!!! THIS GAME HAS MORE STORYLINES THAN A RACCOON RUNNING A FUCKING SOAP OPERA FROM INSIDE A DUMPSTER!!!!! 🦝📺🔥
NO TITLE HANGOVER!!!!! NO “WE’RE JUST HAPPY TO BE HERE” BULLSHIT!!!!! START THE SEASON LIKE SOMEBODY STOLE THE LOMBARDI, SHIT IN THE TROPHY CASE, AND LEFT A FUCKING DENTAL BILL ON THE WAY OUT!!!!!
THE SEAHAWKS WILL BEND THE PATRIOTS OVER THE SPACE NEEDLE AND SHOVE AN ENTIRE FUCKING PIKE PLACE FISH MARKET UP THEIR ASSES UNTIL THEY START COUGHING UP SALMON EVERY TIME THE 12s GET LOUD!!!!! 🐟🍑💀🔥
LET’S FUCKING GO SEAHAWKS!!!!! 💙💚💙💚🔥🔥🔥