men have been increasingly creepy lately

hello all. i, 24f, frequent a karaoke bar that is just a couple blocks away from where i live, won’t say which one for safety’s sake. i’ve been going here alone, typically at least once a week, for over a year now. i know almost all the staff by name and they all know me. this is all to say that i’ve felt safe coming here alone and haven’t really had any major issues, until recently. men have always hit on me here, and there’s been the occasional creep that doesn’t respect consent or me as a person. it’s never been frequent enough for me to feel unsafe going alone, especially because the staff here look out for me.

the past few weeks though, i have had multiple issues with men harassing me to the point staff need to deescalate the situation on my behalf. a couple weeks ago, someone tried following me home, and when i stopped at the corner store for a snack he came up to me explicitly saying he followed me there. luckily the staff at the corner store also know me, and know i don’t do cuckoo banana shit without reason, so i hid in the storeroom while they handled him. the next week, this man was back at the bar, and staff who had seen him follow me when i discretely left (trying to avoid him) talked to him saying that he cannot follow or talk or interact with me. haven’t had any issues with him since then.

last night, a man was waiting outside the bathrooms. i assumed he was waiting for his girlfriend, because he was right outside the ladies room, hovering. i talked to him briefly, wrongly assuming he was safe because his girlfriend must be just inside the bathroom, and he reached over and groped me. like the comical “honka honka” type shit. i immediately walked away and went to tell staff what happened, and someone who seemed familiar with the staff, who i had also been talking with when chatting with the bouncer and other staff, announced himself as the bar owner and said he was going to go check the tapes. i was still shaken, i went back inside, trying to shake it off, and a bartender came up to me asking if i was ok and where this guy went. they had very clearly seen him grope me on the cctv footage, and wanted to kick him out and likely ban him. they found him and gave him the boot, and then it all sunk in and i just started sobbing. some other bartenders helped me call my parent and gave me hugs and reassurance, i ended up ubering to my parents place where she made me pizza and is going to make me brioche waffles this morning.

i just don’t know what is going on, the only thing that has changed with me is that i’m like way less interested in talking with men than i was a year ago, and i wear more metaphorical anti-man perfume. i just go there to vibe, sing, and talk with the staff. i don’t know why men have been increasingly disrespectful and creepy recently, it really really sucks that they are starting to ruin this place that i love so much with their entitlement. the staff here is absolutely wonderful, and i always know they have my back, but im beginning to feel less and less safe coming here alone.

i’m a conventionally attractive smaller woman, so i’m used to having to brush men off at bars. i’m not used to feeling unsafe at my safe bar. that is all, if anyone has any hypotheses on why men are more disgusting as of late, i’m all ears.