It’s 1:43 am and I need a place to post where people understand. When i first moved to this city from California, I used to tell people, I love Seattle and Seattle loves me. This was the first place I have ever moved, away from home. I didn’t go to college after high school, so here in this city is where I got the chance to grow and live life as a fully independent adult.
I had virtually no savings, and no real plan. I came out here after a bad breakup and moved in with a friend from high school.
I moved here towards the end of fall, so my first couple of months were during the big dark. AND during the snow in the city, remember when all the cars were sliding down Queen Anne?! That was my first winter here!!
The excitement from my move overshadowed my depression, and I look back at that time in my life in a lavender haze. Something so beautiful and free and filled with hope.
Ive been here almost 4 years now, which I know might not seem like a lot but these 4 years ive had my fair share of heavy life experiences, been through many a breakup, many a roommate, many a friend, moved around different neighborhoods and finally leading to me living alone for the first time in my life. What a special experience it was.
I will miss the houseshows, driving on the highway and being in awe of the mountain, taking ferries (i was so scared the first time!),the bright grey skies and the beautiful lush greenery. I will miss the dive bars, the eclecticism of the people, the trees oh how i will miss the trees. I will miss late nights out in Capitol Hill. i will miss the tulips, the rain falling hard or soft.I will miss the noise of the city and the coffee and the music. i will miss the water. Oh God, i will miss the water. I will miss my friendly neighbors who said goodbye to me as i moved all my furniture out today. I will miss seeing people truly appreciate the sun and not taking it for granted like they do in California.
im leaving not necessarily because i want to but because i know in my heart i have to. i got fired from my job a couple months ago and my depression has gotten so bad. (There was a mass exodus of the employees. It was crazy) im not getting better here and i dont think i can get better here. I need to close this chapter of my life and stop gripping so tightly to an identity that is just not me anymore. I also just realistically cannot afford it anymore. On top of that, im unsure about the industry i am in, and what career path to pursue. I started college last year and am taking this as my sign to move back home and really think about the life path i want to take.
Despite all of that, i am so grateful for the time that i spent here in this beautiful wonderful amazing city. The first time I visited with my mom, i knew in my heart i was going to end up living here. It was just an immediate knowing. I hope i get to experience that again, and i know i will.
Right now its currently not my goal to move back, its my goal to get better and to heal.
If you read this far, thank you so much. Just know that you live in a wonderful magical city. The next time the mountain is out please tell her hi from me.
The next time youre on a ferry, take a second to step out of the car and be grateful for the water around you.
Oh and please volunteer at a local food bank. Dm me for the one i used to go to all the time, they need some extra help!!
I will miss you Seattle, i love you and I know you love me too!
submitted by /u/Horror-Ad-9006
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