I love living in Seattle, feels like I belong here, feels like home, but things have been really hard lately. Nine months ago, I lost my sister, my only family, my only true connection in this world. She was the one who made life feel less lonely. I keep telling myself it’s okay, that birthdays are just arbitrary dates, but deep down, I wish someone cared. It’s a reminder of how much I’ve lost, and how far I still have to go. I’m invisible, floating through a world that doesn’t even notice I exist.
I work a minimum wage job, barely scraping by. All the money goes straight to bills and rent, and even then, it’s not enough. I’m behind on everything. The fear of being homeless is a constant weight on my chest
I thought about buying myself a small treat or a drink, but I don’t have the money. I’m struggling to make ends meet and the thought of spending even a little on something frivolous fills me with guilt. I’m always buying cheapest possibly things, skipping meals. I feel like I’m drowning.
I’m scared. Scared of what the future holds, it’s hard to imagine anything beyond the next hour, the next meal I won’t have. Scared of being homeless, of having nowhere to go. I feel paralyzed with no energy left. I lie awake at night, my mind racing, trying to figure out a way to keep a roof over my head. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t see a way out.
I’m tired of fighting for a future that’s empty and uncertain with nobody around me.
I imagine what it would be like to have just one day without worry, a day where I didn’t have to think about where my next meal would come from or how I’d keep warm tonight. A day where I could walk into a cafe and order something warm and comforting, without counting every coin I don’t have. A day where I could feel human again, even for a moment.
All I can do is close my eyes and dream of a better day, a day when I’m not afraid, when I’m not alone and hopeless.
submitted by /u/legendary-ladyss
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